Naturally Mom

morning

2012-02-11T06:43:00.000-05:00

I love everything about the morning. Everything is dark and very quiet. You can hear every creak in the floor boards and can easily listen to the thoughts that are forming in your head. I have been a morning person my whole life, pretty much unable to stay up past sunset and much preferring the dark before sunrise. There is just something so magical for me about mornings. They are full of possibility and clarity. I know I must miss a lot of fun after I am far off in dream land, but mornings have their own type of fun. I think of my grandmother who would wake before the sun each day to have her quiet moments, just her and the symphony of birds singing their hearts out to celebrate the start of a new day in her front yard tree. As a child I would peak my head around the corner and see her sitting in her chair with her cup of coffee milk. A warm, safe and comforting feeling of home would blanket me as I cuddled up next to her. Just the two of us in this moment before day. Then off to the store we would go at 6:15 where we magically had the isles to ourselves while we shopped for the day's food. Just us. Now, as I sit here in the dark of my living room looking out my window to the soft snow falling in the dark moments before day, I am again filled with that soft comforting feeling of being home. I am filled with this peace that morning brings to me. A quiet state of just being that is also full of possibility and hope but at the same time acceptance and gratitude for what is. This is my time to connect with me and what surrounds me. It is my time of day to notice the birds singing or the tinny flakes of snow drifting down from heaven, glistening in the glow of the street lamp before the noise of the day drowns it all out. Morning. It's my time. And I am sure my grandmother is up too somewhere, not missing this perfect time of day.

This Moment: fun with bubbles

2012-02-10T07:51:00.000-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. Check out other moments this morning at soulemama.

a quiet morning

2012-02-09T17:50:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that I am one lucky Mama. This morning, instead of getting up before the sun to start my day, I decided to stay in bed snuggled up reading for a couple hours. I could hear the kids in their room playing and every now and then they would make an appearance. First to show me their painted faces and feather headdresses, another time to bring me a book to read to them, and then finally to tell me that breakfast would be ready soon. Wow.......I should stay in bed more often.

Jetta, with Johns watchful eye, conceptualized, cooked, and served the best breakfast I have had in a long time. She fried bacon and then chopped it up into a quiche and even drizzled bacon grease on top (that's my girl!). She served sauerkraut on the side and a cup of tea. So delicious!

4 months!

2012-02-04T17:41:00.003-05:00

right from the garden: midwinter salad

2012-02-04T06:19:00.000-05:00

I haven't spent much time in my garden since the baby was born. But last weeks weather was so warm that I spent one blissful morning cleaning up and getting the garden ready for spring planting followed a vibrant arugula salad strait from the garden for lunch on the back deck.

We installed hoop houses a few months ago and have been enjoying fresh greens and root veggies all winter. Now, it is time to start planning our spring garden. We can plant much earlier this year since our seeds will have a warm place to live while the weather is still unpredictable.

this moment

2012-02-03T09:03:00.000-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. Check out other moments this morning at soulemama.

oh candlemas, oh candlemas

2012-02-03T07:56:00.001-05:00

We celebrated Candlemas yesterday, Feb.2. You may be wondering what in the world Candlemas is. Until yesterday I was wondering the same thing. I had heard about Candlemas in my reading about holidays celebrated in the Waldorf schools, but never had the time to learn about what it really was. So when we were invited to a Candlemas /groundhog day candle making gathering I was so excited. In anticipation of the day I did learn a bit more about the history of Candlemas and some of the customs around the celebration. Candlemas falls midway between the winter solstice and the spring equinox and in many traditions is considered the beginning of spring. Pancakes, for their round shape, are the traditional food for Candlemas because they are considered symbols of the sun. Candles are the main decorating element and making them is a wonderful activity for the day.

The kids had no problem completely embracing this new found holiday and were so excited about what the day would bring. Pilot thought of making a pancake cake, so that is what we did and a new tradition was born. John and I had lots of fun getting in to he holiday spirit. Maybe it was the lack of sleep the night before, or just that fact that this holiday seemed to pop up out of nowhere, but John and I got a kick out of using the word "Candlemas" throughout the day, making everything special. When we used up almost all our cream for the cake we said, "Nothing is too good for Candlemas" and "Remember it's Candlemas, be nice and share with your brother." We even had the "traditional" round "Candlemas platter" for the cake, and of course we used our yellow "Candlemas napkins". The kids even declared that the cake was the best "Candlemas cake" they had ever had.

After a wonderful "Candlemas breakfast", we met with friends and made bees wax candles. It was a beautiful day spent in community with family and dear friends and all in all I think we had the best Candlemas to date. At the end of our candle lit dinner, we blew out the flame on our first Candlemas and went to bed already planning for next years Candlemas celebrations.

it's about equality

2012-02-02T07:26:00.001-05:00

After attempting to explain to my 7 and 4 year old about the same-sex marriage bill hearing was that was to take place the next day, I decided not to take them. As I started my explanation, I quickly realized that although they have 2 uncles that are gay, many friends with parents that are gay, and know about some of my friends that are transgender, they don't actually know what the word gay even means in reference to these people in our lives. They do not have a label for them, and I want to keep it that way as long as possible. They simply see a person who is as unique as any other person. They simply see two mothers who love their children as much as their two parents love them. They look around and see so many different types of parents and families. Single mothers and fathers, one mother and one father, a grandparent raising grandchildren, families that adopt, couples that have no children, families that have 10 children, families that have two moms or two dads, and so many more. I decided not to take them with me because I didn't want them to see that there are people in the world that would try and tell them that all of these families should not be treated equally. I want them to feel free in this country to be who they are and love who they want and see the good in each individual and family. I always teach my children to value their own differences and also see the likenesses between all of us. For all too soon I will be sending them into the world on their own. They will see the unjustness, the inequality, and the hatred. I can not protect them forever. But I hope they will have in themselves such a strong sense of what is right and good in their soul that they will be sturdy and clear enough to stand strong.

I did go to the hearing on Tuesday with my Mom and my baby to show my support of the same-sex marriage bill. Part of me can not believe that I am living in a country that would even have this up for debate. Did we not learn anything from our country's past? Did we not learn that separate but equal doesn't work. Does anyone ever stop and think how it would feel to be told that you can not marry the love of your life. I am lucky that the love of my life happens to be a man. We are respected and welcomed in the community just the way we are. How lucky for us. But no, that good feeling is tainted because I can not feel rest until my friends and loved ones and fellow community members are given the same respect and honor. I can not just stand by and hope others will take care of it. It is my responsibility to my children to leave them a world that is a little better then when I got here. I will speak out and stand up for all human beings to be treated equally. What a novel concept. And yet I will not get too comfortable in my socially excepted life until it is so.

I don't know who my children will decide to love and marry, but I truly hope that they will be honored in their choices and get to hold their heads high and proud as they walk though life or down the isle feeling the blessings and support of their country.

Please call or write your representatives to tell them that you support same-sex marriage and equality for all.

Find your Representative here.

what's going on at my house

2012-02-01T18:09:00.000-05:00

lots of baking and eating.......

can't get enough Daddy time......

started playing dominoes and we are really getting into it............

Jetta loves the piano and is sharing that love with her brother........

collecting LOTS of bottle caps found on daily walks around the stadium........ coming up with grand ideas for art projects we can use them for........

finding joy in the little things.........

spending time with friends and dressing up.......

.......counting my blessings and enjoying this life

less is more on a windy day

2012-01-29T07:39:00.001-05:00

Over the last almost eight years that I have been a parent, one thing has become more clear to me each day: less is more. We can search high and low for the perfect toy to play with, or the perfect class to take, or even the perfect experience to offer them, but none of this seems to make my kids any happier. In fact, I do believe it makes them less happy. Much much less. Why is this? Well, I think it teaches them to want and most importantly expect more instead of appreciating what they already have. Also, I think that when things are always presented to you (ie: a toy or a method of doing something) it leaves that ever important element out of the equation......creating. I think that when we have to make our own toy or figure out how to do something on our own there is a spark that gets lit within us that makes us feel whole and happy. For example, we had a really windy day last week and the kids came running in the house looking for plastic bags. They tied a string to the bags and up they went soaring in the sky. All we could hear from them were squeals of joy as they flew their bag kites up and down the street laughing and screaming with pure happiness. Sure, we have a kite that I could have taken out to use, but why? I have never seen them have more fun. And all they had was a bag and a string. Even our mail carrier had to actually come and tell me that she had been sitting there for a long time watching my kids play with their "kites" in the wind. She told me that she had never seen such happy children and that it had made her day. She even wanted to nominated me for Mother of the year! You mean all I had to do was put my kids outside in the wind with a bag and some string? I can do that. It seems easy, but doing less can feel much harder because everything around us tells us to get and do more. We have been in a long process of retraining ourselves to want less. To really look at what our choices and actions are saying about our family's values. What are the effects of each thing or activity on my children? Is it worth it?

sprouted mung bean curry soup with cheese pancakes

2012-01-24T17:40:00.000-05:00

Sprouted Mung bean soup with home made beef stock and a touch of curry is my favorite winter meal. The only thing that makes it better are these cheese pancakes.

Cheese Pancakes

1 C millet flour
1/4 C tapioca flour
1 C yogurt (or coconut milk)
2 eggs
1/3 cup shredded Parmesan cheese
1/4 C soft goat cheese
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp sea salt

happy chinese new year

2012-01-23T15:46:00.000-05:00

children of the earth

2012-01-22T17:30:00.000-05:00

Last week we had the opportunity to spend the morning in a nature class given by a teacher from The Children Of the Earth Foundation. It was a beautiful crisp morning and we all enjoyed our time in nature. Even Scout settled in and nursed as we walked. I think we all needed the fresh air.

this moment: big brother

2012-01-20T06:10:00.000-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. Check out other moments this morning at soulemama.

recycled collages

2012-01-19T07:19:00.002-05:00

This week we had a couple friend over and made collages using only recycled material. The night before the project John ran around our neighborhood and raided peoples recycle bins scoring some pizza boxes that we used as our canvas. We had been collecting recycled materials all week including toilet paper rolls, popsicle sticks, egg cartons, plastic bags, buttons and old magazines to make into art. We also planned on going out for a trash walk the morning of, but it rained and we decided to just make due with what we had. The only other supplies we used was paint, glue and brushes.

Pilot made a sunburst by folding paper fans and gluing them together.

We made flowers out of folded and cut plastic bags stuffed into toilet paper rolls and then painted them.

I made a tree of life by ripping up a plastic bag, twisting it with glue and sticking into to my pizza box lid in the shape of a tree. All in all a fun art project for all.

Part of the Thursday Blog Hop at http://www.bassgiraffe.com

the ties that bind us

2012-01-18T07:42:00.000-05:00

The day you become a parent and you look into the eyes of your child for the first time, you know in an instant that your life has changed forever. You can feel your body make a shift to include this little being into your own. You know in that moment that no matter where he goes or how he grows, he will always be a part of you. You know that when he is in pain, you will be in pain. You know that when he smiles, your whole heart will smile with him. He is you and you are him. And at the same time you know he is his own person. You know that from that moment that he takes his first breath he is on his own and you are only there to watch and help the best you can. You know that he will feel the pain and joys of life and you will not always be there to break his fall. You know that there will be times when you will only be able to hold his hand through the storm and you hope that will be enough.

Yesterday I had the gut retching experience of thinking I lost my son. As I was giving the police a description of him and imagining the worst, I felt in that moment a part of me was dying. The air became so thick I literally could not get a breath and my belly, where I had carried him for 9 months, was in a knot, trying to hold on to him somewhere. You can never believe how strong these cords are until you have an experience of losing a child. In that moment, I was feeling the pain of all the mothers who lose a child and I wondered how the world could ever turn again. As everyone was running around, I stopped myself for a moment and got really calm and just asked "tell me where they are". I think my Grandmother was watching over me. My feet started to move slowly and as I walked, I suddenly saw them. They were hiding all the way down the street in a bramble bush. John and everyone had already check there, but they had hidden and stayed quiet. When I found them they had sheepish grins on their faces and I think were a bit confused as to why I was crying and the street was full of police.

After that we came home for some needed quiet time. The whole incident made us feel so vulnerable. The thought of losing our son was unimaginable. We are strong believers in letting kids be kids and letting them run free but we immediately felt ourselves pull the ropes in and want to hold on tight and NEVER let go. We never wanted to let him outside again. We never wanted him to make US feel that way again. That was too much pain and we knew that if the outcome had been different we would have been changed forever.

But we know that when we chose to become his parents, we promised to not just care for his physical needs, but also his emotional and spiritual needs. We knew that it would not always be easy. The more he grows into his own body, the more we have to trust that he is on his own journey and we are merely his safe place to come back to. We are here to try and keep him safe, but we have to also accept that he will get hurt. I am not sure I feel truly up for the task, but here I am. I guess I am doing it. My love runs so deep that I feel it just might strangle him and yet I know I must let him run free. To find himself in this world without fear prevailing. Though I think for the next couple of days I need to keep him close to me before he goes back out into his world, playing in the trees and swinging free.

winter's rhythm

2012-01-16T17:29:00.001-05:00

While talking with friends at the ice rink today the subject of family rhythm came up. Why you may want to have a rhythm for your family, how to create one, and thoughts about what one might look like. I can see how each family has to look within to find what works for them and find those things that matter most. I know that establishing a rhythm for our family has been a key component to having a mostly peaceful home life. I like to have a daily rhythm, but also move with the seasons. A rhythm is not a schedule. Instead of something that you must conform to and that stays static, Rhythm breaths and flows and is alive. It is there to serve you. Right now I am snuggling into our family's winter rhythm and enjoying all that it brings to us. Most mornings you can find me sitting with my two oldest kids on the couch reading a story to them or each of us may be reading to ourselves snuggled under a single blanket while John and the baby sleep in. When they get up I make breakfast while the kids empty the dishwasher and John makes a fire. We eat together and after breakfast I do about an 1.5 hours of a main lesson or a project with Jetta and Pilot if he is interested and then the kids go out to play while I nurse the baby by the fire and catch up on my reading. Everyone comes in for lunch and then most days we have a 30 min-1 hour rest time where everyone is in their bed reading, playing quietly or sleeping. The kids usually go out again to play until dinner when I have to drag them in from the cold. Some afternoons we have another lesson. Knitting, Piano, Painting or sculpting. Before bed John brushes the kids teeth, reads them a story and tucks them in. We always end the day by saying "Sleep tight, see you when the sun is bright. All the angles and fairies will surround you. I love you." We do have days where we have lessons or play dates that we fit into the schedule, but we work hard to not get too booked (though we are not always successful). Of course the winter activities like ice skating every Monday or taking a walk through the woods on Fridays make this time of year fun and exciting. It is cold outside, but it is warm by the fire. We are always exploring our world, but it is the rhythm of our family that brings us back home. The warm reassuring feeling of being home with a soup bubbling on the stove and someones loving arms to enfold you is at the heart of our winter rhythm.

This Moment: my team

2012-01-13T07:11:00.000-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. Check out other moments this morning at soulemama.

what makes me happy

2012-01-10T07:21:00.000-05:00

::these people::

don't forget

2012-01-09T08:27:00.000-05:00

Moments you never want to forget seem to fade with time, lost in a sea of life. These are just a few from the past week that I captured in a picture so I don't have to let go just yet.

....those irresistibly delicate and soft baby legs and toes

.......flying high on the tree swing

.....a proud toothless smile

........a sweet smile and a cuddle

......meeting his honorary uncles for the first time

.......making a box plane with a working twist tie propeller with Grandma

Gluten-Free Pumpkin Cake Roll for her Birthday

2012-01-08T18:58:00.001-05:00

Part of REAL FOOD WEDNESDAYS

We celebrated Grandma Boo's birthday this weekend. I wanted to do something special for her, as she has been such a very important part of my life for so long. We appreciate all that she does for our family, but most of I we just love her to death. What could possibly sum all that up? Well, I think this cake came pretty close. I decided to do a twist on my yule log and make a pumpkin cake roll filled with fresh raw whipped cream. I think it turned out great and Boo said it was her all time favorite. I was just glad to be able to help make her day as special as she is. Happy Birthday Boo!

Gluten-Free Pumpkin Cake Roll

1 C 100% pumpkin puree
3 eggs
1 C date sugar
1 t gluten-free vanilla extract
2 t baking powder
pinch of salt
1/2 t xanthan gum
2 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
2/3 C millet flour (fresh milled is best)
1/4 C tapioca flour
1 cup chopped crispy almonds or pecans

Whipped cream filling

2 C Heavy cream
1 T gluten-free vanilla extract
1/3 C honey

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Line 10 x 15” jelly roll pan with greased parchment paper. Mix together pumpkin, eggs, vanilla and date sugar until well blended. Add baking powder, xanthan gum, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt and flour and mix well. Pour onto lined pan, gently spread out. Bake for about 15 minutes until set but still soft to the touch. Turn cake upside sown on a linen dish towel and remove paper from cake. Roll up pumpkin roll in cloth making sure that the cloth is always between the layers of cake. Cake never touching cake. Let it cool for 30min - 1hr on the counter. While it cools prepare your whipped cream filling. Whip cream with vanilla and honey until very stiff peaks form. Unroll and spread cream filling on cake. Sprinkel chopped nuts over cream. Re-roll. Drissle a little honey on top of roll and sprinkel with extra nuts and coconut flakes. refrigerate.

starting off the new year sick

2012-01-02T14:50:00.000-05:00

I started off the new year on the couch sick with fever from a terrible breast infection. I think I over did it at the new years brunch the day before. I should have known not to do a back flip on the trampoline while still breast feeding. The last time I did a back flip was 7 years ago off a raft in the ocean. The next day I was laid out with a breast infection. I guess my breast don't like to be upside down :)

Thanks Papa and Boo for keeping our kids happy and well loved while I was out of commission.

Happy New Year

2012-01-01T11:57:00.000-05:00

On this 1st day of 2012 I pause to think about what this last year has brought me and what this next year might bring. 2011 brought us 2 new members of our family. A new brother-in-law whom we adore and of course a new baby that continues to grow and delight us each day. We took down a huge tree that was rotting and with the new found sun we were able to plant a vegetable and fruit garden that we enjoyed working in and eating from. I finally recovered from over 2 years of constant body pain through slowing down and refocusing my priorities. Looking back, I can remember all the more difficult times we were up cleaning the kids vomit, or awakened with contractions, or working through arguments and all the while trying so hard to be good parents. I think when all is said and done, we did a good job and we can pat ourselves on the back and say we survived smiling.

Recently someone said to me that when you have little children, that is all you are doing. So, in an effort to keep life simple and keep peace a priority while focusing on what is most important to me, I will use this next year to really dive into the study of Anthroposophy in the effort to "nurture the life of the soul" of each individual in my family and my family as a whole. I have started a quest to be more in tune with my children and myself and am devouring books on the subject. I want to turn my life upside down so things can become clearer and I will be able to see the lines and shapes that are present instead of merely labeling and categorizing using old and useless tools. I am taking a step back and reevaluating each step forward I make. 2012 is feeling good already. So much to look forward to and so much to be surprised by. I have never been one to follow a crowd. In fact, I have usually taken the path less traveled and enjoyed the unknown adventure that lay before me. What will this adventure be? Will I be able to survive? Thrive even? I think I am ready. Let's go!

Gluten-Free Buche De Noel (or Yule Log) Recipe

2011-12-30T07:26:00.003-05:00

We loved reading the book A Clever Beatrice Christmas this holiday. In it they make a Buche De Noel, or Yule Log, for Santa on Christmas Eve. The kids were so excited to make one of their own, so we researched different recipes and came up with a gluten-free version of our own. We all agreed that it was delicious.

Gluten-Free Buche De Noel (Yule Log)
( makes two Yule Logs. )

Ingredients:
1 (6-ounce) package un-sweetened chocolate, chopped, melted
4 large eggs
2 cups maple sugar
1 tsp GF vanilla extract
¾ C coconut oil (melted)
1 C milk
1 3/4 C Millet Flour
3/4 C tapioca flour
1 tsp xanthan gum
1 T baking powder
1/2 tsp sea salt

Whipped Cream

1 quart of heavy whipping cream
2 tsp GF Vanilla extract
1/3 C honey(Whip mixture with an electric beater on high until stiff peaks.)

Chocolate Ganache

1/2 C heavy cream
1/4 C coconut cream
1 (9-ounce) package un-sweetened chocolate pieces
1/4 C honey

(Heat coconut milk and cream in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Pour over chocolate and stir until melted. Add Honey. Whip mixture with an electric beater on high for 3 to 5 minutes until ganache is well aerated and thickens to a spreadable frosting.)

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350˚F. line 2 rimmed cookie sheets with parchment paper. Grease parchment paper with coconut oil. In a double boiler, melt chocolate. Remove from heat and let cool about 10 minutes. Beat eggs until light and fluffy. Add the maple sugar and beat until batter about 5 minutes on medium high. Add vanilla, coconut oil and milk and mix just until incorporated. Mix in melted chocolate on slow speed just until incorporated. Combine all the dry ingredients in another bowl and mix into wet ingredients a little at a time until just incorporated. Pour batter into pans. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or until center is set. Do not over cook. Immediately loosen each cake from edges of pan and turn each upside down onto a clean linen towel. Carefully remove parchment paper. While still warm, carefully roll cake with the towel so that cake always touches the towel as it rolls. Let cool completely. When cool, gently unroll cakes and fill with whipped cream. Re-role cakes and transfer to your serving dish. Remove towels. Carefully spread the ganache over the logs and decorate with a sprig of pine or another bit of fresh green. We also garnished the plate with some coco powder and shredded coconut.

this blog is part of Melt in your Mouth Mondays

Celebrating Mom with a Yule Log

2011-12-29T19:39:00.000-05:00

We spent the morning preparing a yule log birthday cake for my mother, or Boppy, as the kids call her. We woke up before the sun and started preparations for this very special day. As smells of chocolate filled the air the kids were busily creating colorful birthday cards while the baby slept and I had a few minutes to think about this person who is my Mother. I thought about my life with her as a child, just the two of us, as she strived so hard to make our life full of joy and love. I think of her as she struggled mothering me through my teen years and wish I could have been able to tell her I would turn out alright. I think about how much heart wrenching pain she felt as she selflessly gave all of herself to care for her mother when she was ill. I think of how she stood by me while I searched for myself and my calling. And now the time and energy she devotes to me and my children each day is a blessing I can only be thankful for. What she gives is herself and what she gets in return is a whole lot of love from all of us. She is an outstanding person who many love and I am just so lucky that she is my Mother. I pinch myself everyday that she lives right around the corner from me now and I get to see her almost every day. When I see her walk through the door, I feel like everything is just as it should be. Us together again after so many years living so far away. Yes, this feels so right. So we decided to make her a very special cake to say we love you and happy Birthday.

Jetta also knitted her a scarf that I think suits her perfectly.

finger-knitted flower hair bands and clips

2011-12-27T06:32:00.001-05:00

One of my favorite home-made gifts the kids made this year for their friends were these finger-knitted flowers hair bands and clips. This video explains how to make the flowers. Pilot wants to make his flower into a belt buckle and I am sure we will come up with many other uses for these knit flowers.

what a wonderful Christmas

2011-12-26T06:19:00.000-05:00

an un-perfect Christmas

2011-12-24T07:36:00.000-05:00

Christmas is too much like a performance for me. Too much expectation, too much preparation, too many lights, too much self centered excitement and too much shopping. As much as I really do love Christmas, it is just not spontaneous enough for me. The fact that it has to be on a certain day does not leave much room for improvisation or letting life unfold naturally. All this expectation that builds up in the house is just a bit too much for me to handle without loosing sleep worrying that I won't get enough sleep. The problem is that I just really love Christmas and I want it to be the best day ever. I want there to be the perfect holiday music that makes you remember all the wonderful times in your life and all the people that you love but at the same time makes you bubble with joy to be alive. I want the meal to be the best meal I have ever cooked and everyone, including the kids to love it too. I want to feel refreshed and relaxed as I sit by the perfect fire without care or a worry in my heart. I want the kids to be so happy with what Santa brought them and be generous and kind to each other the whole day. I have this magical vision in my mind of the perfect Christmas, but the reality is that I know I will probably be tired on Christmas morning because I will have been up nursing all night, the meal will probably be pretty good, but not my best, and the kids will probably just want the dessert. The kids will probably be so excited about their presents and just the fact that it is Christmas that they will be completely exhausted and start to argue and fight about something and keep begging for one more piece of candy. I will probably be on my feet all day cooking and cleaning and just being a Mom that at the end of the day I will just fall into bed and dream about that perfect day that is ever elusive. I will then probably remember that life isn't perfect and that I wouldn't give up or change my life for anything. All the un-perfect days that are bound to come are part of this "whole" life I am living and in essence are just "perfect". I will then probably get that good nights sleep I have been looking for and wake up reminiscing about what a "perfect" Christmas it really was.

Merry Christmas!

This Moment: solstice spiral

2011-12-23T08:14:00.001-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy.

gluten-free, sprouted, fermented millet pumpkin bread

2011-12-21T09:36:00.002-05:00

This blog is part of Real Food Wednesdays at Kelly the Kitchen Cop

I am so excited about my kitchen aid mixer and grain mill attachment. This week I soaked,sprouted, fermented and then dehydrated whole millet which I milled into flour this morning and made into this yummy pumpkin bread.

Gluten-Free, Sprouted, Fermented Millet Pumpkin Bread

Makes 4 small loafs or one large one.

Pre-heat oven to 350

1 cup date sugar
4 tablespoons pure maple syrup
1/4 cup coconut oil
2 large eggs
1 tablespoon GF vanilla extract
1 cup pumpkin puree or boxed pumpkin (my favorite is from Fig Food Co.)
1 cup millet flour
1/2 cup tapioca flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon xanthan gum
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1-4 T of milk as needed for liquid as it mixes to the right consistency (not too think or thin)

Milk all ingredents and pour into oiled bread pans. Bake on 350 for about 40 - 50 min or until the top of the bread is firm but gives slightly to a gentle touch.

his own tree swing

2011-12-20T06:53:00.001-05:00

I love watching my son, who is just 4 years old, get an idea, and without even asking for help, take all the steps necessary to follow through with it. The other morning at ruffly 6am I was sitting on the couch reading and nursing the baby when Pilot got the idea and burning desire to build a tree swing in our front yard tree. I told him he may want to have daddy help and that I wasn't even sure if the tree was big enough to hold a swing. He was un-phased by my suggestions and just went right on collecting all the supplies he would need and, still in his pajamas, went outside to work on it. About 20 minutes later I looked out the front window and to my surprise he was swinging from the tree on his new swing with a huge satisfied smile on his face. Never underestimate a 4 year old.

family

2011-12-18T08:18:00.000-05:00

unconditional love

laughter

friendship

cuddles

tears

joy

sorrow

sacrifice

awe

gratitude

caring

sharing

happiness

wonder

selflessness

chaos

peace

gentleness

warmth

freedom

dreams

connection

Family

This Moment

2011-12-16T09:07:00.002-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments

being shared , go over to SouleMama.

Gluten-Free Gingerbread Man Cookies

2011-12-15T18:02:00.001-05:00

This blog is part of Real Food Wednesdays hosted by Kellythekitchenkop.com

These gingerbread cookies are our family's favorite holiday cookie so far this year. Hope you get a chance to try them.

I have a sneaky little helper that loves to taste.....a lot!

Scout loved making the cookies too.

Gluten-Free Gingerbread Man Cookies

Ingredients:

2 1/2 gluten free flour blend ( i used half quinoa and half tapioca)
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum
2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger
1 cup maple sugar
1/2 cup coconut oil (melted)
1/2 cup unsulfured dark molasses
1 large egg
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350° F.

Line 2 large baking sheets with parchment paper.

Combine dry ingredients in a medium bowl and whisk to thoroughly combine.

Place sugar,oil, egg, ginger and molasses in a large mixing bowl. Beat on high until combined then add dry ingredients and beat on medium speed to combine.

Form into gingerbread girls and boys. use a little extra flour to keep from sticking.

Bake in preheated oven for about 15 minutes.

this makes me happy

2011-12-13T07:37:00.001-05:00

My Mother and my Mother in law took Jetta and Pilot to the Children's Museum of Baltimore for the day. Pilot is still talking about being inside that bubble. I count my blessing every day that these 2 wonderful women are in our lives. I was always so close to my Grandmother and now my kids get to have that x 2 living right around the corner. Not only are they wonderful Grandmothers and Mothers, but they are also two of my very best friends.

Who could ask for anything more?

Right here, right now

2011-12-11T10:56:00.000-05:00

a wreath with dad

2011-12-10T06:52:00.000-05:00

The man who sold us our Christmas tree last week was happy to give us the left over clippings from the trees he had which was just perfect for the wreath that John and the kids made for our door. It is so much more fun making things yourself. As time goes by, I am spending more and more time making things myself. This year we are making gifts. My fridge is full of mason jars filled with all kids of things I make like yogurt, cultured veggies, chicken broth and soups. We grow more and more of our own food and I am getting a little better at knitting. Baby steps. Another thing that saves a lot of money and that my husband has learned to do is be the handyman around the house. He has learned to fix almost everything in the house and almost everything with the cars. He loves his old Honda that he can fix up when necessary and keep it running for hopefully a long time to come. Yes, I know, it seems like the more difficult rout, especially with 3 children at toe, but it has proven to be quite the opposite for our family. All this "making" slows you down and focuses your life so that you feel more relaxed and in the present moment. If lack of "talent" is holding you back, think again. Read this little article. These steps we have taken into the world of self-reliance have brought us a feeling of confidence in our lives and appreciation for what we have and who we are. It can be as simple as a Christmas wreath.

This Moment

2011-12-09T10:24:00.001-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other momentsbeing shared , go over to SouleMama.

living without pain

2011-12-08T07:06:00.003-05:00

I have to tell you about a very special person today. Dr. Mario DiSaverio. I am so grateful to him for helping me and my family to live happier and healthier in our bodies.

I have always had neck and back pain, but about 15 years ago I was in a car accident that left me with whiplash which increased the pain to a new level. I was in such severe pain all the time that I couldn't even lift my arms. I saw every chiropractor, massage therapist and doctor I could to try and stop the pain, but as soon I would leave the office, the pain would return. I learned to live with the pain for the most part but recently I am living pain free the majority of the the time. What did I do? Well, I was lucky to have Mario, a Network chiropractor, in my family. I would see him periodically with great results, but for the past few years I have been seeing him weekly and my body is feeling great. Even with all the baby carrying and lack of sleep I can say I have never felt better. The amazing part of it is that what he does is so gentle that you hardly feel a thing. What you do notice though is that over time you are able to self correct and do not have to rely on someone forcing your body into the "correct" placement like most chiropractors. I tried that for years. I would feel great when I left the office and then turn to look at something and bam I could feel everything pop right back out. With Mario it is a slow, gentle and stable process that eventually leaves your body with the tools to work itself out. I grew up taking Tylenol all the time and I never thought I could be head ache free, but with Mario's help I am. I just have to share my experience as I feel that it could really help so many of you. I saw him right through my pregnancy and he even treats my children and they love it.

I asked Mario to explain what he does and he said "I utilize gentle pressure where your body is receptive to receive a force in relation to your presenting pattern of distortion. Consequently, your innate intelligence becomes more acutely aware of the pattern and dissolves the core tension associated with it. As a result, your body self corrects and becomes more self corrective in the process."

So if you are anywhere near Annapolis and are interested in finding out more, here is his website:

home made advent calendars

2011-12-07T06:13:00.000-05:00

Every year we look forward to making our own advent calendars. I grew up in Germany where my mom always bought the ones with chocolate in each window, but I find our homemade ones even more special.

After drawing a Christmas picture and adding 25 boxes placed randomly, they traced the boxes with tracing paper. John used his x-acto knife to cut each box on three sides to create little windows, then they drew holiday pictures in each box on the tracing paper and I helped them glue the paper onto the back of the calendar. Each morning when they open a window, they get so tickled to see the image behind it. They don't even miss the candy. imagine that.

Pilot admiring his Christmas tree.

Early one morning sneaking a peak at what's behind the windows.

This Christmas......

2011-12-06T07:14:00.002-05:00

We started our Christmas holiday last weekend with ice skating and trimming the tree. We had decided to not do too much this year because every second of life right now seems to be taken up by the baby, homeschooling, and just the every day jobs having a family creates, but the kid in me can't stand to miss this beautiful holiday that holds so much magic and spirit. So, for the next few weeks we will be busy making gifts for our loved ones. I am trying my best to stay away from stores as much as possible this year. We have come up with many fun gift ideas that the whole family can participate in. From knitted fashions, herbal tea mixes, decorated picture frames and more, I think we are going to be busy after all. Well, I am not sure how successful I will be in making this holiday easier, but I am thinking it will surely be more fun. Now, if I can just get a good nights sleep, I think I can do it. We'll see.

checkmate

2011-12-05T18:24:00.000-05:00

My grandfather taught me how to play chess when I was a child. Now, with all the memories of the countless peaceful hours playing with him in my mind, I sit across from my 7 year old as she says, "checkmate". I am sure my grandfather is looking down on us playing on his old chess board with a twinkle in his eye and pride in his heart.

BEarth institute

2011-12-04T08:21:00.000-05:00

Here is an interesting site that I have been reading for a while. www.TheBEarthInstitute.com I use a lot of the ideas they have in their program and think if anyone is looking for a nature based homeschooling program, this is a good one.

This Moment: hangin' with daddy

2011-12-02T07:26:00.000-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments

being shared , go over to SouleMama.

boy, oh, boy

2011-12-01T12:02:00.001-05:00

I was sitting in a doctors office today and the "The Producers" was playing on the TV. I have always wanted to see this movie but somehow never have, so I sat down to watch. There was a scene on that had one man dressed in a pink dress and frilly hat. There was another mother in the waiting room with her two boys (maybe 1 and 4 years old) who were also watching. When she saw the man dressed like that on the screen she said to her 4 year old son, "What is that man wearing? Is he a girl? No! He's a boy!" and laughed. I was so shocked by this statement, as innocent as I am sure it was. It just makes me feel so bad for our boys. My boys. Boys and men everywhere. I feel like in so many subtle and not so subtle ways, they are pigeon holed into behaving, dressing, loving, thinking and even feeling in such a narrow, unimaginative and inexpressive way. No wonder the society feels that men have difficulty with communication or expression of emotions. We have made them scared to. What message did that mom send to her child today? We have taken our bright, beautiful, creative and emotional baby boys and turned them into miserable robot men that go out and run our country. Is that what we want? I am sorry, but I think enough is enough. We have to stand up for the boys. We have to expose and allow them the same access to this world that we do girls. We have to stop teaching them that there is only one kind of "real" boy in this world and show them that the world has no limits. We teach our girls that they can do anything boys can do and now we now have to teach our boys that they can do anything girls can do too. It all starts with what we tell them. It all starts with what they hear us say. It all starts with you.

art work turned head board

2011-11-30T15:18:00.000-05:00

A couple weeks ago we did a fun project with Turnips and rutabagas. We then took the art work that was created and decoupaged a piece of wood we had hidden in our basement with it. This was the outcome. I just love it! This is a great way to use all that artwork that your kids create. I am thinking about what else I can decoupage.....maybe a bathroom cabinet, or a table. Let me know if you have any other ideas.

the magic of wet on-wet water color painting

2011-11-28T06:50:00.000-05:00

I have been putting off doing wet on wet water color painting for a while now. I am not sure why it seemed so hard to me. Maybe because there are so many steps you have to take to prepare for it, or because I had never done it, but after reading so many wonderful things about how important it is to the Waldorf curriculum and child development, I gave it a go. Wet on wet water color is all about experiencing color not form. We used yellow and red, as we are in autumn and seeing all the trees changing color now. After we soaked the paper and set up everything I told the story of the trees dressing up in their party dresses and dancing in the wind. As I told the story, the paint danced on the page in front of me. It was so alive and magical. I never explained to the kids that I was painting leaves or that red and yellow make orange, I simply told the story and let them see the colors change and experience the truths of autumn and color on a heart level. The kids watched me and then got to experience the magic of the paint for themselves. I was so taken by the beauty of the experience and so happy that I had finally decided to share this with my children. I can't believe it took me so long to try it. To learn more about wet on wet water color painting here is a nice video.

This Moment: family

2011-11-25T07:56:00.000-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments
being shared , go over to SouleMama.

a not so perfect day

2011-11-23T16:59:00.000-05:00

I had this beautiful vision of today. Baking with the kids in preparation for Thanksgiving. The kids and I working together in the kitchen. Smiles and laughter filling the air while sweet smells of pumpkin and apple pies building excitement for tomorrows meal. But instead of that warm holiday spirit, I had a house full of screaming children and was left to make all the pies by myself with a crying baby in my sling. I had been up all night nursing and now no one was interested in helping me in the kitchen. I wanted to cry too. I like being a Mom most of the time, but today was the kind of day that I really questioned why I ever thought this would be fun. Of course, as I sit here now with all 4 pies either cooling or in the oven, my house back to it's semi orderliness state and most of the chaos at bay, I can start to see a glimmer of that life I thought I had. Wait.......no....not yet.......ok......back to quiet for a minute. The sun will come out tomorrow. Right?

my gratitude runs deep

2011-11-22T15:26:00.001-05:00

My Grandparents: Gwendolyn & U.E. Mathis

Every year at this time I think about all the people in my life that I am grateful for and say a special prayer of gratitude for the two people who are no longer in my physical life, but still have an enormous impact on all that surrounds me, my grandparents. It was 7 years ago that my grandmother past away, but a day doesn't go by that she and my grandfather aren't on my mind and talked about. I imagine my grandmother's voice singing along while Jetta is playing the piano or I imagine her holding my new baby in her warm loving arms and looking at me with love and compassion. I imagine my grandfather proudly telling everyone he knows about how talented each of his great-grandchildren are and wanting to be there to teach them chess, beat them at gin rummy, or just take them to the park and talk about life. Each night Jetta and pilot still want to use great grandma Gwendolyn's silverware and feel safe in bed each night knowing that they have two special angels watching over them.

I have been doing a lot of thinking this year about life and death as we welcomed this new person to our family. Eventually we too will have to say goodbye....for now. I have a picture of my grandmother as a little girl on my dresser in my room. She was so little and cute, just like Jetta, and had her whole life ahead of her, That moment was as real as my own childhood and now hers is over and I have children of my own. Life is so fleeting, yet each moment is never ending because it makes its imprint on you and the whole universe.

My grandparents were two very special small stones in a great big ocean but I am still feeling the kind, soft, loving waves they made. Those ripples will go on and on and have already been imprinted on me and my children and their children's children. More important than even genetics, these waves of kindness impact every cell in our bodies and change who we are, They shape every aspect of our lives, My heart beats to the rhythm that was created by my grandparents and past to my mother and now I see that joyful spirit living on in my children and I know that they feel it too. They have been touched and formed by the presence of these angels and I live in gratitude each day for this.

my grandmother pulling her sister

my grandfather, mother and grandmother

my Mom and me

This Moment: a day at the park

2011-11-19T06:48:00.000-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments
being shared , go over to SouleMama.

I'm just fine

2011-11-18T06:55:00.002-05:00

Most days I have to answer the question "How are you?" and most days I just say good or fine without really thinking about the question much. Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me because I don't respond with a enthusiastic "Great!" and I even get the occasional "is everything ok" look because the word "fine" seems to imply that there is something wrong. Yes, I have moments of real joy, but mostly I have a sense of feeling content with my life. It actually feels very good. I am just fine. I have spent most of my life striving for and expecting things to be great. Somehow I got the idea that if I was doing something special and extraordinary I would be happy and that happiness would bring joy to my life. I was taught that I was special and that of course meant that I needed to do something special., You know, save the world, or in my case be a "star". I remember my grandfather saying once that my voice was a gift from God and that it needed to be shared. I thought that if I became a famous singer that I would be living up to my potential and it would make me happy. I think I had an expectation that if I wasn't feeling thrilled about every moment of my life I wasn't doing it right. I thought that being on the stage with thousands of people cheering for me or owning a successful business or making lots of money was the goal, although deep inside I longed for something completely different. I longed for family. Children. Cooking. Cats. A dog. A wonderful partner. A garden. I started to realize my true soul desires and what made me "happy". I started to live my life according to my heart. I started a family, a garden, adopted 3 cats and learned to cook. I am now up nursing all night, changing a million diapers, cooking and cleaning all day, completely exhausted and just fine. I now realize that being content is the best feeling in the world. It is the feeling of not needing or wanting to change anything. Yes, there are many happy moments to my days, but mostly I feel just fine and I don't want to change a thing. And as for the gift that God gave me. I have found the most important audience of all. My family.

finger-knitting for himself

2011-11-17T09:06:00.000-05:00

He finger-knitted himself a tie for his robe.

turnips three ways

2011-11-16T10:30:00.003-05:00

We had fun with our main lesson on Monday this week. After reading the story of The Enormous Turnip we went out into the garden to harvest our own turnips and rutabagas that the kids planted from seed a couple months ago. I was just praying that they would be big enough for us to eat.....and they were. We painted the leaves and made prints that filled the porch with fun and color and then we boiled the turnips and rutabagas and mashed them with butter and salt. We even sauteed the greens (which are high in calcium) with a leek from our garden. I was so surprised at how tasty it all was and I have decided that I like the root mash better than mashed potatoes. This will be perfect for thanksgiving this year. While our root and green snack was cooking Jetta drew a picture and wrote some sentences from the story in her main lesson book. This was definitely a lesson to remember. It realy incorporates the whole child using the Waldorf principles of hands heart and head. I will try and repeat this lesson each fall season.

this blog is part of Real Food Wednesdays

my new EMF meter

2011-11-14T07:32:00.000-05:00

We finally got our EMF (electromagnetic field) meter last week. I have been wanting to test the house for a long time now to find out how bad our daily exposure to EMF's really is. I have been reading about EMF's for a while and we have already made some changes in the house, like turning off our router when we sleep, not putting a clock radio near our beds, only using cell phone on speaker, getting rid of the microwave, not putting laptops on laps and getting a mattress that does not contain metal. So, after testing all the appliances, walls, lights and pretty much every inch of the house, I am happy to say we are in pretty good shape. Some places where we do have dangerous levels (3 or above) of EMF's in the house are the washer and dryer, the oven and stove top, the toaster oven, the blender, the dishwasher, the hairdryer and the electric toothbrush. We also had 2 lights that we are going to have to replace. Both were from IKEA. One was right above our dinning room table so we really have to replace that, as we spend a lot of time sitting there. To reduce our exposure to many of the EMF's from our house we just need to use these things as little as possible and be as far away fro them as possible while they are in use. We are very lucky that our power lines are underground as power line can be a major source of EMF exposure. The other really bad spot we found was in our car. The back seat was not bad which is great for the kids, but while I am in the front seat I am sitting in very high, dangerous levels. Time to get some new walking shoes. So, if you are wondering why it is so important to lower your EMF exposure here are a few articles you may want to read. In the mean time, I would suggest getting a meter to test your house. The most important rooms to test are the bedrooms and rooms you spend the most time in. My husband researched and found this meter to be one of the best to get. It is the TriField Meter Model 100XE. I am going to share my meter with all my friends and family.

(from Less EMF inc.)

After more than 25 years of intensive study, the health and safety conscious Swedish government has established a safety limit for exposure to ELF magnetic field at 2.5 mG, and VLF magnetic fields at only 0.25 mG. Although the U.S. government has been slower to act in establishing its own standards, the Swedish standard is generally accepted throughout the world. What this possibly means is that if someone consistently experiences exposure which exceeds the standard, that person could be at risk for developing health problems which can range from headaches, fatigue, and dizziness to skin rashes, miscarriage, leukemia, and cancer. In fact, numerous court cases where plaintiffs claim to have been injured by EMFs are now in progress. Even though the controversy of conflicting scientific studies persists, it seems strange that cigarettes and alcohol are packaged with warnings we already know about, and the sodium, fat, and cholesterol content of foods must appear on the labels, but NO ONE TELLS YOU THAT THE AVERAGE HAIR DRYER, VACUUM CLEANER, OR CAN OPENER

YOU USE EMITS AN AMAZING 300 mG OR MORE!!!

Here are some sites you may want to check out:
http://www.lessemf.com/emf-news.html
http://bodyecology.com/articles/little-known-dangers-of-emf.php
http://emf.mercola.com/sites/emf/emf-dangers.aspx

getting creative with crust

2011-11-13T16:48:00.001-05:00

I have been having so much fun playing around with pie crust recipes. A pie crust is one of those things that keep people from making their own pies for many reasons. They are hard to get just right, they take a long time to make and it can be messy process. Now add having to make a gluten-free crust and you are looking at a much bigger job. Since I love pie so much for pretty much any meal of the day, I have been working on crusts that are fast, easy, healthy and create almost no mess. I will save my fancy "real" pie crust recipe for special occasions. For the every day pie, I have been loving my nut crust. And now I have a new favorite crust made with coconut flakes that I used with a pumpkin pie filling this week. It was so simple. Put coconut flakes, eggs, butter, vanilla, cinnamon and stevia into the food processor and blend until incorporated and pasty. Spread in the bottom of a buttered pie pan and add your filling. Yum! (I don't have time to figure out proportions right now, but if you want them just leave a comment and I will try and get it to you.)

this blog is part of Real Food Wednesdays

This Moment: Family shadows

2011-11-11T06:17:00.000-05:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments
being shared this morning, go over to SouleMama.

family + nature + good friends = happiness

2011-11-10T09:55:00.000-05:00

math mixed with art and nature

2011-11-08T09:37:00.000-05:00

I am really loving this 1st grade Waldorf curriculum by Donna Simmons. We just finished a math block and enjoyed how nature and art is brought into every lesson. Each topic is taught with a story. First we gathered nuts to use for counting and then made the various math symbols out of bees wax. We made squirrels out of wax to represent addition, subtraction, multiplication and division and drew pictures from the math story next to the math equations for that day. I wish I had learned math this way growing up. It really seems to make it come alive and develop the true reasoning behind each concept. Instead of merely memorizing it, I feel like Jetta is understanding it with her hands, her heart and her mind.

my two favorite cooks

2011-11-07T09:38:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite breakfast foods are pancakes made with two of my favorite people.

Currently it is blueberry buckwheat pancakes made with fermented whole buckwheat groats that we are enjoying.

The cook must always taste his food.

This Moment: Snuggling with Aunt Cara

2011-11-04T07:26:00.002-04:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments
being shared this morning, go over to SouleMama.

a felted soccer ball

2011-11-03T16:36:00.001-04:00

1 month

2011-11-02T16:57:00.003-04:00

http://www.wahmresourcesite.com/

Scout is a month old. I can't believe it. Time has flown by and stood still all at the same time. I can remember having him in my belly so well, but also feel like that might have been a dream. It has been a whirl wind of a month, flying by with a million diaper changes behind me, sweet and not so sweet midnight nursings, quiet tender moments and other moments that I wish would end. I have found pieces of myself that I want to keep and others that I am working hard to change. I have moments where I think, "Why did I do this to myself and my family?", but more moments where I know this was the perfect path. I struggle to think of each child and their three different needs while the smallest and most helpless of them usually comes first. I find myself apologizing more then I want to admit for not living up to the standards that I expect my children to uphold. I hope that they understand that they are the light of my life and know that Mommy is just sleep deprived. Even though I worry a lot, I also know in my heart that they feel how loved they are and that the few times in the day that I am not as patient with them as I want to be is made up for with all the loving moments that we share together. I thought the newness of the baby would wear off, but I am so touched by the love these three children have for each other. Jetta sings sweet songs to Scout each day as he holds eye contact with her and looks like he wants to smile and sing along. Pilot never misses a moment to give Scout a kiss on the head or cheek and give him and big, but gentle, hug. And Jetta and Pilot still play together all day and seem to be working things out pretty well. All and all things are good here. Actually, they are great. I couldn't ask for anything more. Well, maybe a nap. But that will come soon enough.

This blog is part of

Terrific Thursday Blog Hop!

his first halloween

2011-10-31T16:10:00.002-04:00

It is his first Halloween. The excitement is in the air. I am not sure he is aware of all the fun he is missing yet, but his sister and brother none the less try to keep him in the loop. Their joy is surly understood. Even by a baby not yet a month old. I wasn't sure how we were going to get through all the holidays this year with a newborn, but so far so good. Yes, it is a little trickier trying to get through homeschooling and holiday preparations while changing a million diapers and nursing all day, but I am happy to say that I am surviving and keeping a positive attitude through it all. (well, except the other night when I was wondering what in the world have I done!) So this week we have been preparing for Halloween. Decorating the house, making pies, carving pumpkins, and of course making costumes. John made Pilot a knight vest with a paper bag and metal tape that is amazing! I will post costume pictures tomorrow. Jetta wants to be a vampire, so I will be doing some face painting tonight. I think Scout will just have to wait until next year to dress up. I think he has had enough excitement for one week. Now I need to get little rest before tonight.

his first halloween

2011-10-31T16:08:00.000-04:00

It is his first Halloween. The excitement is in the air. I am not sure he is aware of all the fun he is missing yet, but his sister and brother none the less try to keep him in the loop. Their joy is surly understood. Even by a baby not yet a month old. I wasn't sure how we were going to get through all the holidays this year with a newborn, but so far so good. Yes, it is a little trickier trying to get through homeschooling and holiday preparations while changing a million diapers and nursing all day, but I am happy to say that I am surviving and keeping a positive attitude through it all. (well, except the other night when I was wondering what in the world have I done!) So this week we have been preparing for Halloween. Decorating the house, making pies and of course making costumes. John made Pilot a knight vest with a paper bag and metal tape that is amazing! I will post costume pictures tomorrow. Jetta wants to be a vampire, so I will be doing some face painting tonight. I think Scout will just have to wait until next year to dress up. I think he has had enough excitement for one week. Now I need to get little rest before tonight.

halloween art

2011-10-30T17:22:00.000-04:00

I love how creative the kids are. I provide them with the materials and then they have their own ideas. I just get to sit back and enjoy what they create.

little garden helper

2011-10-26T08:55:00.000-04:00

The Feederbrook Fiber Project : Felting

2011-10-25T08:01:00.000-04:00

Thank you to my Mom and Mother -in-law for taking my kids to the farm this past weekend. They got to dye, and learn how to felt the wool from their sheep into little pumpkins. They brought some more wool home so they could teach me how to do it. I have to go to the fabric store and pick up some felting needles this week.

We had such a great experience with this fiber project. The kids learned so much over the year about where wool comes from and what we can do with it. Most of all I appreciated how passionate Lisa (the farmer) was about the sheep and the wool. I love for my children to see people who truly love what they do and express to much joy in their work. It is inspiring for all of us.

i love my new blanket

2011-10-24T16:58:00.000-04:00

I had a wonderful surprise over the weekend. A former student and dear friend brought over a blanket that she knitted herself for Scout. What a beautiful and thoughtful gift. I can just feel all the love that went into it, and I know Scout can too.

This Moment: afternoon nap

2011-10-21T07:31:00.000-04:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments being shared this morning, go over to SouleMama.

climbing high

2011-10-19T16:34:00.001-04:00

Yes, I am the parent that lets my kids climb on top of the monkey bars, climb up the slides, climb high in trees and run around with sticks at the park. I just think there too many rules for play that take all the fun out of it. We are exchanging fun for safety and I won't do it. Of course I will make my kids wear helmets when riding bikes and hold hands when crossing the street, but I refuse to take the creative and slightly dangerous play out of their days as I think it is the best part of being a kid. I spent many days high in trees and running around barefoot and I thank my Mom for understanding how important that was.

sanding a ladder

2011-10-18T14:06:00.001-04:00

I stumbled upon this video that John took of the kids. They are so lucky to have a Dad that gives them so many opportunities to build things and learn to work with tools together with him. They are very handy with a sander as you can see. Actually, John and Pilot built this ladder last year. Maybe it needed a little sprucing up. Anyway, this video makes me happy today.

third times a charm

2011-10-16T10:08:00.000-04:00

It is amazing how much easier having a baby is on this third go around. When I had my first baby, I was so nervous and had to learn everything as a beginner Mommy. On my second baby, I had some experience to draw from, but now had to learn how to have more than one child around. I had to figure out a family rhythm that worked for everyone. Now that we have established a routine that works for us, we just had to make a few adjustments to add one more to the mix. Bed time is normally 7:30 for the kids and John and I usually fall asleep around 9:00. Now bed time is 7:00pm for the kids we can be in bed by 8:00. Since the baby wakes up to nurse every 1.5 - 3 hrs, that gives us a good 10 - 12 hours to try and get 8 hours of sleep in. It has been working great. Although we are still tired, we are so much more rested then with the previous 2 newborns. The kids wake up around 6:30, so we also asked the them not to wake us up in the morning. They have been getting up quietly and doing their morning job of unloading the dishwasher and then working at their art table or reading books together until we wake up. Having Jetta and Pilot around has been such a big help. They have been so excited for months waiting for him to be born and the thrill has not worn off. They both want to hold the baby all the time and that makes it easy for me to get breakfast made and even take a shower. Wow! Every night we go around the table and each person says what they are grateful for. For the entire 9 months of my pregnancy Pilot would say "I'm grateful for the baby." At night before bed he and Jetta would give my belly a kiss and say "goodnight scout, we love you". And now that he is born Pilot still says "I'm grateful for the baby" at dinner and at night they kiss their brother on the head and tell him "I love you". It is this third baby that has brought out so much love and gratitude in our family. What a pleasant surprise. Third time really is a charm.

this moment: brothers

2011-10-14T08:34:00.000-04:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments being shared this morning, go over to SouleMama.

letting go

2011-10-12T08:37:00.000-04:00

photo by Jessica Earle

My body woke me up at 1am gently letting me know that this would be the day that my son, and third child, would be born. For the past few months I had been thinking about this moment, wondering when it would come. Part of me was wishing it wouldn't and at the same time dreaming of the day that I would lay my eyes on the child I had been so close to for so long. This time around you would think I wouldn't be nervous about giving birth, but it was just the opposite. I was more nervous then with either of my other births. Maybe it was my memory of the pain, or maybe I just felt that I had been so lucky with my other 2 healthy natural births and babies, that how could I expect to get away without complications of which I could only imagine. I am by nature someone who likes to be in control pretty much all the time. This is a quality that has served me well, but has also held me back in many ways. Birth is one of those experiences that I find so scary because you can't really prepare yourself for it because each birth is so unique and must be let to unfold as it will. So, of course I tried my best to control it. I took Birthing From Within classes with my first pregnancy hoping to gain some insight and tools. Then after my first child was born I became a birth and postpartum doula hoping to help others and become more of an expert myself. I read every book about natural birth and even had a water birth with my daughter and used all the pain management techniques for labor and delivery. So, on my third go at this, I couldn't have been more prepared or more scared. At each appointment I asked the midwife for help with my anxiety. They shared with me meditation techniques and tried their best to reassure me that I would be able to do it. But when the day came, I could still feel those parts of me that still weren't sure.

I labored at home for most of the morning with my family still feeling pretty good. Later in the morning John and I headed over to the birth center and the kids followed an hour later.

When we arrived the midwives had filled the birth pool up for me with warm water. It looked so peaceful, but all I could feel was nerves, as I knew what I was about to face. I got into the pool and allowed the water to sooth me a bit. As my contractions started to pick up, I started to use the breathing and relaxing techniques I knew would be helpful. John has always been a big help to me in labor, sometimes having to press on my back for hours on end to provide counter pressure through each contraction. So this time he was ready to help as the contractions got stronger. As I started to feel the strength of my contractions increased, a helpless, panicky feeling started to rise from within. I knew that I was going into transition, but I really felt that I did not have what it took to climb this mountain. More than the pain, I feared the loss of control the panic brought with it. At this point my best friend, who was sitting nearby, said to me, "Just remember that your body won't do anything that you can't handle".

It was at this point I stopped and shifted my thoughts. I realized how grateful I was to have a body that knew exactly what to do. A wave of gratitude washed over me as I thanked my body for working just as it should. As the strongest contractions surged through me, I decided to get out of their way and appreciate them by not trying to escape, but be present to this miraculous act of nature. I just let go. I let go of every muscle in my body. I let go of all the deep breathing and everything I had ever learned to avoid the pain and slipped into a relaxed breathing pattern similar to sleep. I let go of making any sounds. I let go of needing anything or anyone to rescue me. I let my arms float up like a flower opening up to the sky. I let go. The pain stayed the same, but I was different. It did not scare me. I looked it right in the face and said, thank you. I trust you. I am letting go now. I laid there floating in the water doing nothing but trusting until it was time to push and when my son came out into the warm water I knew I would never be the same again. I had let go in the face of the biggest challenge of my life and experienced something that I would never have believed. I surrendered to the moment. No longer in battle with myself. I let my body take over, and it was in letting go that I finally felt in control.

"Being a parent is the path of learning to move away from resistance, to embracing what the moment presents you with. "

Naomi Aldort - "Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves"

Welcome Scout to our family!

This Moment: Happy Birthday Scout

2011-10-07T16:54:00.000-04:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments being shared this morning, go over to SouleMama.

This Moment

2011-09-30T08:21:00.000-04:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments being shared this morning, go over to SouleMama.

a nut crust apple pie! (gluten-free, GAPS diet friendly, grain free, sugar free)

2011-09-28T15:04:00.005-04:00

I know, I know, another apple pie. I just can't help it. It is an all time favorite food for us to make and eat around here. We make it using such healthy ingredients that we have it for breakfast, lunch dinner and dessert.

My dearest friend gave me a huge box of apples for my birthday last week. She went to a local farm and picked them herself. They were delicious and of course we had to make pie with them. So far I think we are up to 5 pies and still have apples left. Well, as usual, I didn't have the right ingredients to make it, so we improvised. This time I think we came up with a winner. Everyone agreed that this was the best apple pie ever and for an added bonus it was the easiest one to make. All you really need are nuts. It is gluten free, GAPS diet friendly, grain free, and sugar free. (dairy free too if you leave off the whipped cream or use coconut cream instead)

my husband loves this thing and as you can see the kids do to. It peals, cores and slices the apples at the same time with just a turn of the crank. Pretty nifty.

Nut Crust

(Makes enough for one crust)

2 C Crispy Nuts of Your Choice. ( I like to use a mixture)
3 Eggs1/4 t Sea Salt
1/4 - 1/3 C Date Sugar
1/3 C Melted Butter (or Coconut Oil)
1 t Vanilla

1 t Cinnamon

1/4 t Nutmeg
1/2 t baking soda

Apple Filling

10 - 12 small to medium apples (Pealed and sliced

1/2 C Date sugar

1 t vanilla

1 t cinnamon

1/8 t nutmeg

Combine all pie crust ingredients in food processor and blend until consistency of crunchy peanut-butter. Spread out on the bottom of a buttered pie pan. Add apple filling on top and bake at 350 for 30 min. At this point cover with foil and bake for another 30 - 45 min or until apples are nice and juicy and bubbling., Take out of oven and let cool for 30 min. Serve with fresh whipped cream on top.

This post is part of Real Food Wednesdays

this moment: the morning rush

2011-09-23T08:14:00.001-04:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments being shared this morning, go over to SouleMama.

dying the wool

2011-09-20T07:50:00.001-04:00

We are part of a year long fiber project at Feederbrook Farm and last week John took the kids to the farm to to dye the wool from their adopted sheep. I think they had a great day. I can't wait see what we use this beautiful wool for. Jetta thinks she may want to make doll hair with it, and I am thinking about knitting something.

pure joy

2011-09-19T07:58:00.000-04:00

This picture was taken by my sister-in-law, Jessica Earle the day that my dear friends had a lovely surprise baby shower for me. One of the best things about having children is getting the experience the simple joys of life again through their eyes. I remember loving nothing more then playing in the mud as a child. I still love to get my hands in the dirt now and I bet I could be pretty happy sitting in a mud puddle. I am sure that no toy can bring this kind of pure joy.

This Moment: joy from the garden

2011-09-16T07:16:00.000-04:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments being shared this morning, go over to SouleMama.

in the kitchen: stocking up

2011-09-15T16:25:00.002-04:00

I have been in the kitchen a lot the past few weeks cooking and freezing foods to have on hand after the baby arrives. Here is what I have been working on:

:: lots of different soups using the kale and other greens from my garden. (I had to literally pick off all the bugs from the kale before I used it. I was not going to let any of it go to waste. If the bugs are going to eat it, they are going to have to share.)
:: i made and froze what seems to be a hundred waffles from different fermented grains. (The 3 that freeze the best and don't dry out are buckwheat, amaranth, and oat.)
:: a hug batch of crispy nuts
:: coconut kefir pudding
:: cultured veggies (cabbage)
:: tomato-meat sauce with lots of fresh herbs from my garden
:: beef stew (which I plan to bring with me to the birth for my first postpartum meal at the birth center)
:: I know there is more but I can't think of it right now.

As we all prepare for this new little baby's arrival we are joyful because we know that each day that goes by we are one day closer to meeting him. We are all waiting with open arms and hearts for this little boy.

joining with:

and

in the kitchen: stocking up

2011-09-15T16:22:00.000-04:00

shell mirrors

2011-09-11T10:14:00.002-04:00

Something we love to do at the beach is collect shells and find creative ways to use them. While we were in Florida this summer we made these shell mirrors. We bought the mirrors and glue at Michael's craft store for a few dollars and the shells we found on the beach. This is a great way to display your favorite beach finds. Pilot even found a rusty sharp fish hook that he loved and by adding it to his mirror he got to keep it, but not end up with a trip to the emergency room. The mirrors were fun to make and easy for all ages to enjoy.

Linking today with:

an accidental trip to the aquarium

2011-09-10T07:42:00.000-04:00

My Mom and I took a trip into Baltimore the other day to take the kids to Port Discovery (a Children's Museum). It was a rainy day with flood warnings all around, but I was, uncharacteristically for this 3rd trimester, feeling good enough to go. So we decided to do it. As we walked up to the door in the rain we realized it was closed This was a proud moment for me as a Mom. Both kids seemed to understand and didn't complain as we stood in the rain wondering what to do. We decided to walk over to the aquarium and check it out. I don't normally like taking kids to places like this because everyone usually leaves feeling so tired and overwhelmed, but with a positive attitude, off we went hoping that we would make it before the next downpour. I was just praying that I would be able to make it walking around the whole place without having to have my mom push me in a wheel chair. This pregnancy has made it really hard for me to walk a lot as I get the worst contractions and pains in my back and belly if I do. We took it easy, and it turned out to be a great day. The most peaceful day actually. Everyone was very content and happy. Pilot held my hand and walked slowly with me and Jetta was so excited about each exhibit. I let them just look at each animal without having to "teach" something every time. We talked a little about what they were but mostly just let them have the experience without too much input from me. What I think was the most valuable lesson was telling them personal experiences stories. For example while we walked through the coral reef section, my mom told them all about her experience with seeing coral reefs while scuba diving in Okinawa, where we lived wen I was a child. We let the kids take their time quietly watching the sting rays swim so graceful and quiet. That uninterrupted time to simply observe is priceless and without any "teaching" going on, amazingly they learn so much more, and we all left relaxed and happy. What a surprisingly good day. Not the day that was planned, but the day that unfolded because we let it.

this "muddy" moment

2011-09-09T08:32:00.000-04:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments being shared this morning, go over to SouleMama.

A year in Art: Art Book Time

2011-09-08T10:41:00.000-04:00

It's Art Book time again! I can't believe it has already been a year since we made our last one. Each year we save many of the kids pieces of art and at the end of the summer, we take pictures of them and put them into art books. This way we can see all their art from the year and share it with others without having to rent a storage space to house it all. The process of sorting though the art is time consuming, but it is so much fun reminiscing about each picture...... like finding buried treasures. I let the kids sift through their piles of art, that I have saved in a drawer, picking all the art they want to go in their books. This year will be Pilot's first time creating his own art book. Even our cat Luca got in on the fun. After the kids had picked out the art to go in their books, we took pictures of the art and uploaded them to WinkFlash and created the books online. (My friend told me about a great deal winkflash has every year where you only have to pay the base flat rate for the books and you can get up to 100 pages. Those type of deals are great to look for when you want to do a project like this.) I let the kids pick out the background colors for each page so they were involved with the book making on every level. We sent them off to be made and had to wait to receive them in the mail. The day they came was a rainy stormy day. My mother and mother-in-law happened to be here so we all jumped on the couch and the kids got to share their year of art with their grandmothers, who couldn't have been happier. These art books are such a wonderful way to share and display all of that beautiful, creative, soulful expression that comes out of my children every day that we hate to just throw away, but they are so prolific that to keep it all would take over our lives.

making dolls with daddy

2011-09-07T15:24:00.000-04:00

The joy of playing with a hand made dolls is unlike anything else and if you make it yourself you really see and feel all the love and care that goes into each and every inch. A couple of weeks ago I bought a book on how to make your own dolls and other sewing projects for kids. John was so excited about it that he took the kids to the fabric store that weekend to get all the supplies he needed. I think the ladies in the store were looking at him with skepticism as he proceeded to gather all the fabric and other dolls making supplies he would need. One lady even encouraged him to start with an easier project as doll making is really hard. I agreed that it was a hard project to tackle, but had complete confidence in them because I knew that if anyone could figure it out, it would be John. So the kids picked out their dolls skin, hair and eye colors and they all left the store with excitement and anticipation in their eyes. Since John does have to work during the days, they spent early mornings and weekends working on the doll. Jetta was so enthusiastic to help and did lots of the hand stitching herself. She patiently looked on as John did some of the more difficult things. They both could hardly stand to stop working on the doll when they had to. And when the final piece of hair went on, she was named Pipi, and everyone was thrilled. You can feel all the hard work and love that went into making her just looking at her. I think she will be well loved and cared for in this house. I think this is just the beginning of many new dolls that they will create and will grace our family with their presence. The experience of making a doll with her Daddy was something she will not ever forget.

This Moment: sewing with daddy

2011-09-02T15:02:00.001-04:00

This is a special moment from the past week that I want to stop, savor and enjoy. If you want to see other moments being shared this morning, go over to SouleMama.